Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Modesty is Relative

That's me letting orange rolls go to waist so they don't go to waste.

Would you ever look at a t-shirt like that and think that it was immodest? Neither would I. Even if it was on someone who was in possession of a tiny bit of cleavage, it would still be quite decent. Not immodest. At least that's what I thought when I bought them (I have a purple one, too). It turns out that they are, though.

See, when you have a toddler some seemingly innocent items of clothing become much less modest. A neckline that seemed very reasonable on the hanger at the store becomes extremely revealing later when it is on your person and little hands grip it and use it to pull up onto your lap. It also doesn't provide enough coverage the twenty thousand times a day you have to lean over and use both hands to clean up a mess, help a child get out of a precarious position or stick a Baby Einstein video in the VCR.

Then there are the shirts Evie likes to buy for herself. She bought a hot pink long sleeved shirt that completely covers her: neck, stomach, arms. Very modest. But Greg doesn't like it because it has a picture of a cartoon owl on it with enormous cartoon eyes. The placement of the owl and its eyes is not bad. I think it's an innocent shirt. Still, it's not Greg's favorite.

I remember back when Greg and I were just friends we would go swimming at the Campus Plaza swimming pool and he once told me that he didn't like my (totally modest, maybe a tiny bit high cut, but not bad) swimming suit. It was royal blue with lime green stitching and a lime green "Body Glove" embossed across the chest. He told me he doesn't think girls should wear things with words in that area. Whatever is written there it might as well just say, "Guys Look Here!!"

I don't buy shirts like that anymore, but I still think he's a little overly sensitive. Unless a shirt is tight and/or a woman is particularly buxom, I don't see much wrong with it.

Then one day Ewelina told me that she found a shirt she wanted to buy. It was just like a shirt her best friend had, but with a different picture. It was a fitted gray tee with a picture of a banana on it. "A banana!" she said. It reminded me of the days when I was about exactly her age and loved things that were random and weird. I, too, would have loved to have a shirt with a picture of a banana or a cloud (like her friend's shirt) on it. Funky, cool, cute.

So she bought the shirt and showed it to me. Super cute cut, very long tee. Big, yellow, old comic style half-peeled banana on the front. "Cute!" I thought.

A little while later I realized that I didn't really like that shirt. I went upstairs and showed it to Greg and asked what he thought about it. He didn't like it a lot more immediately than I didn't like it. He said he really didn't think she should wear it. I totally agreed. I was the lucky one who got to explain this all to her. While it's not strictly immodest, it kind of falls under the same category (i.e. inappropriate (or not quite appropriate) clothing)

So now we have a bunch of new standards. Is the shirt toddler-proof? Does it contain any offending words symbols, pictures or colors? Are the non-offensive words, symbols, pictures or colors located in an appropriate area of the garment? Are we a thousand percent sure that nobody would ever think anything but the very most virtuous thoughts when glancing in our direction while we are wearing this item of clothing?

Sheesh.

We sure know how to make things difficult around here.

Jen's Haircut









Friday, May 27, 2011

Ode to the Period

I used to take you for granted;
You were just sort of there.
I used you countless times a day,
No gratitude did I bear.

But now I see your value.
I understand your worth.
While many consider you optional
I'm mourning because of your dearth.

And maybe I've made a mistake
by trying to write this in rhyme.
Because in this type of writing
I use you improperly half of the time.

But in other types of writing
You are the only one
Of punctuations marks, common and lesser used,
that keep sentences from over-run. (ning each other)

It's really very simple:
A tiny little dot
To separate my sentences
And make reading less headache-fraught.

Maybe it's about the order,
Organization and proper pace,
But judging by how my house looks
Those values don't hold a high place...

So I guess it's more about talking;
I'm pretty good at that.
I want to be read just the way that I sound
Not a jumble of words to fall flat.

I wish more people could understand
The service that you provide.
You're free, and you want to be used and loved
Statements happily you will divide.

But I must admit, you're a character.
I think that's your biggest flaw.
With limits on numbers of symbols we use
Your end of the deal is raw.

But still, I will never abandon you!
You mean too much to me.
You're worth every space that you take on the page,
As important as A, B or C.

note: this "poem" is the perfect example of exactly how poor my understanding of the usage of punctuation is, but the period? I'm pretty confident in my usage of that one. Dear, dear period.

Florina's Styles