The Stuff Christmas Carols Are Made Of

Every year we put up our tree on the day after Thanksgiving. I love this. Unfortunately it makes it a little tricky to have a real tree, so we rarely do. But I love having the house decorated for so long.

There is one other little thing about putting up the decorations so early. Actually, there are a lot of things. A whole bunch of almost invisible individual things that, when combined together make having decorations up early a bit less pleasant.

Last Christmas we were in the same apartment we'd been in for seven years. There was only a moderate amount of dust there. Or maybe between moderate and heavy. I would remove all the presents from under the tree once or twice a week in order to vacuum up the dust bunnies that had nestled so comfortably around them. I'm trying to remember if I dusted the tree itself. Maybe I did a little here and there with the vacuum, but not much (until it was time to take it down, of course).

We are spending our first Christmas in this house. This excessive-amounts-of-dust producing house. Three days after we decorated I looked around and realized it was time for some dusting, and it wasn't going to be easy with all the tinsel and extra stuff around. I inspected the tree and could already start to see a little dust on its branches. Ask me how excited I was at the prospect of dusting my Christmas tree a couple of times a week. Go ahead. Ask.

I started thinking. If, in three days, the dust is almost visible on the tree, imagine what it will look like in a week! Two weeks! In four weeks for Christmas!! That is absolutely disgu-- WAIT A MINUTE!!

A layer of dust that thick will look almost white. Doesn't everyone dream of a white Christmas? I know I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. Just like the ones I used to know. And I could have it! INSIDE MY HOUSE! And all I would have to do is not dust. This seemed like a small price to pay (hee hee) to have a snow frosted tree for Christmas with none of that fake snow fleeced on it. This is a real, natural alternative*!

Isn't everything today about the real, natural alternative? Isn't it about keeping things simple at Christmas time? Isn't it about having a white Christmas? Then DON'T DUST. Like me.
*I mean it's an alternative to FAKE snow. Nobody wants to fill their homes with the real deal. But you could SAVE MONEY AND ENERGY (another of the things we're aiming for) and turn your thermostat way down, so the dusty snow seems even more like it could be the real thing.Just don't let anyone touch it. Or sneeze by it. Oh. Maybe this isn't the best idea after all.
Okay! I get it! Only dorks dust their Christmas trees! I really never have, as I say but if you saw the amount of dust this house produces. . . I swear you wouldn't think I was such a freak!